Love Hurts
Panther Cool (Panther and Chico Cool) w/Dutch Desire vs. Heart and Soul (Southern Heart and Demarcus Jones
•Announce Team of father/daughter combo Steve and Arika Dart.•
•"Back in Black", by AC/DC rocked Blackpool to it's core as out walked 4-Time Hall of Famer "The Whole Fuckin' Show" Steve Dart.•
•Dart came out wearing one of his many "Steve Dart" t-shirts, he wore blue jeans, his signature Steve Dart hat, and he had a beer in his hand. Dart stopped and then chugged the beer spilling it all over the front of his shirt. He smiled as he walked over and greeted his daughter who was grinning from ear to ear, sat down and put his headset on.•
Arika Dart: Hey, pops! I didn't know you were going to call this match with me.
Steve Dart: Beer me!
•The fans popped loudly as Dart was thrown a beer. Dart caught it perfectly without even looking. He popped the can open and chugged beer #2, this time not spilling a single drop.°
Arika Dart: I knew that was coming.
Steve Dart: Hell I figure why we wait...we hydrate!
Arika Dart: Might as well. It's important to keep your liquid consumption up at your age!
Steve Dart: The Whole Fuckin' Show never has or will ever have a problem keeping "it" up.
Arika Dart: Gross, Dad!
Steve Dart: Beer consumption level! Get your mind out of the gutter. What do think I meant?
Arika Dart: Never mind.
Steve Dart: Damn it, baby girl. I'm only on beer #2 and I'm already being misunderstood. Story of my life.
Arika Dart: Back to the task at hand. What do you think of the match up we have coming up?
Steve Dart: You know I'm old and SEEnile (senile). Remind me and the folks at home what match up this is.
Arika Dart: Panther Cool with Dutch Desire versus Heart and Soul.
Steve Dart: (Laughs) That Dutch is a kick in the pants. I wonder what kind of get up he's going to have on tonight?
Arika Dart: Chico Cool and Panther went on a date last night as per the stipulation of pinning each other at the same time on the last edition of Thursday Night Showcase right here on the See Saw Network!
Steve Dart: I saw that. Demarcus Jones had to be the worst chauffeur in the world. But as far as pure wrestling ability there may not be anybody in that ring better on this card! And hopefully Chico Cool isn't still shitting his ass off!
Arika Dart: Southern Heart snuck in the kitchen and put Ex-Lax into his food!
Steve Dart: She sure did and I might not eat spaghetti Bolognese ever again. Beer me!
•Another well timed beer (#3) landed in front of Dart. He opened it up then chugged it in record time.•
Arika Dart: And Panther looked vanishing last night, didn't she?
Steve Dart: She looked uncomfortable sitting across from Chico Cool to me but tonight she will come dressed to fight. You can count on that! Beer me!
•A lovely Shrouded Kombat Wrestling female stage hand came out and set a beer in front of Dart. She smiles at Steve and exits stage right.•
Steve Dart: Cheers!
•The crowd popped as Dart saluted Blackpool with a cold beer (#4).•
Arika Dart: Well, Dad there is nothing left to do but to do the damn thing!
•The match opened with Southern Heart and Demarcus Jones gliding down the ring together and getting a huge pop from the crowd while a mix of Southern Heart and Demarcus Jones' music blared over the house PA speakers. Southern Heart was carrying the bottle of Ex-Lax she used to put in Chico Cool's food on Date Night in Blackpool. Demarcus Jones reached the ring ropes first and held them open while Southern Heart stepped into the 20 × 20 (inside joke Mike Sanzone lol) squared circle and catered to crowds clapping needs by smiling and walking around the ring. Next Demarcus Jones stepped in and they both waited for Panther Cool to come down to the ring.•
Arika Dart: Look at what Southern brought with her!
Steve Dart: (Laughed) That bottle of Ex-Lax she used on Cool's food last night!
•"I'm To Sexy", by Right Said Fred hit the airwaves and out came Panther Cool lead by Dutch Desire. The crowd reaction was mixed. Most were loudly applauding the ultra popular Dutch Desire and Panther while Chico Cool soaked in the boos. Panther was wearing her best selling "Panther Power" t-shirt while Dutch Desire on the other hand was wearing tight pink Speedos, pink Women's sunglasses (Think Becky Lynch) and Chico Cool's Shrouded Kombat Wrestling Tough Cookie Title, while "blowing" a huge array of kisses to his adoring fans. Chico Cool strutted out wearing the brand new limited edition "Panther Cool" t-shirt. On the front it read "Panther" with her likeness centered in the middle of it. The back read "Cool" with his likeness centered on it.•
•Before ring introductions could be made "Who Made Who", by AC/DC played and out walked "Co-Owner of SKW and the See Saw Network" "Hot Enough To Fuck" Joseph J. Morelli to his new ring music. Morelli was wearing a custom made gray suite, fancy tie, shiny black shoes and is frohawk perfectly in place. He of course a microphone in his hand as the fans of Blackpool booed and cussed him out.•
"Hot Enough to Fuck" Joey Morelli: Blackpool? Really? Boy, SKW is really slumming it this week! (Fans booed even louder) Anyways..I bet everybody is wondering why I am out here? 'Cause it's my fucking show that's why! I do what I want when I wan-
•The fans reached near riot attitudes.•
Steve Dart: Hey, Jackass..why don't you shut the fuck up?
•The fans popped loud as Steve Dart interrupted Joey Morelli. Dart took his headset off and grabbed a mic and walked towards the entrance way to confront him. All eyes in the ring were now focused on these two's battle of words.•
Arika Dart: Ah, Dad. This may not be a good idea!
Steve Dart: Beer me!
•Dart catches a beer behind his back while still walking towards Morelli. He opened and chugged the beer (#5). He crushed the can and threw it at Morelli messing up his Frohawk.°
"Not So Silent Co-Owner of SKW" Joey Morelli: You son of a bitch! What the hell do you think you're doing!
Steve Dart: Well I might be a little hard of hearing but I swore I heard you say the Fucking Show?
•The fans went crazy and started chanting Dart's name.•
Fans: Dart! Dart! Dart!
Arika Dart: Don't do it, Dad!
Steve Dart: So therefore I am the show, the whole show, and nothing but the Whole Fuckin' Show so help me God...here I am!
"Gift of Gab" Joey Morelli: Look, Steve. This isn't 1997! Who the hell do you think you are?
Steve Dart: I just told ya' you silly bastard and now you are making me repeat myself for the cheap mother fucker up in the nose bleed seats. I am the show...the whole show...and nothing but the Whole Fuckin so help me God! And for the hearing impaired..I always have a little sign language for ya'!
•The fans ate this up as Dart flipped Morelli the bird.•
"Head Honcho" Joey Morelli: Yeah I get it, Steve. (Sings) Back in the day when you were young your not a kid any more..Back in the day! But this day and age..you are just a drunken broken down announcer Jennifer Enigma hired to get under my skin.
Steve Dart: Beats being a snobby two faced bastard though now doesn't it?
"Gives to Charity" Joey Morelli: You know what you are, Steve? Do you know what you've become? A whole fuckin' charity case! The "Show" as you call yourself, was canceled 20 or 30 years ago!
Steve Dart: Well, Mr. Big Shot. Why are you out here anyway?
"Announcement Maker" Joey Morelli: I came out to those four in the ring..well four and a half if you count that half pint Dutch Desire..that if Panther Cool wins here tonight Dutch Desire will be put into that match at the ppv for Chico Cool's SKW Tough Cookie Title! So it would become Cool defending vs. Southern Heart..Panther..Demarcus Jones and Dutch Desire!
Steve Dart: As that all?
"Rapid Responder" Joey Morelli: I tell you when it's all..not the other way aroun-
Booom!
•Dart kicked Joey in the stomach then delivered a Studray Stunner sending Joey in convulsions on stage.•
•The fans cheered as "Black in Black", by AC/DC played and the camera cut to commercial after Dart grabbed another beer and poured it all over Joey.•
•Commercial Break•
Arika Dart: Back from commercial break and Chico Cool and Demarcus Jones are battling back and forth!
•Jones kicked Cool in the stomach then planted him on his face with a DDT.•
Steve Dart: While we were at commercial Jones really set the tone for this match!
Arika Dart: Cool is fighting back though!
•Cool got up and raked Jones' eyes.
Steve Dart: Eye gouge by the self proclaimed "Coolest Cat in the Game"!
•Cool rolled Jones up trying to get the quick pin.
Arika Dart: School boy!! 1...2..thr-
Steve Dart: Two and a half! Jones kicked out!
•Cool snuck up behind Jones and delivered a Full Nelson Forward Side Russian Legsweep.•
Arika Dart: Too Cool For Schoo!
Steve Dart: I think Cool has won this one!
•Just before the referee could count to three Southern Heart made the save.•
Arika Dart: Southern Heart is in there! And now Panther runs in!
Steve Dart: All hell is breaking loose!
•Panther hit Southern Heart with her Texas Two Step. Jones got up and started brawling with Chico Cool. Then from out of nowhere music started playing and Dutch Desire jumped up on the announce table and began to dance in his pink Speedos and wearing his Becky Lynch inspired pink sunglasses.•
•"Flash Dance What A Feeling", by Irene Cara played over the house PA speakers.•
•Dutch gave Dart a lap dance while Arika laughed her ass off.•
•Panther hit her Texas Two Step on Demarcus Jones then Southern Heart. Just as Chico Cool tried to help her she hits her own partner with the Texas Two Step sending him crashing to the mat.•
Panther: Panther Power! Lights out!
•Panther snapped her fingers and the lights went off. She snaps them again and the lights came back on.•
•Panther has Southern Heart covered for a pinfall while Demarcus Jones rolled up Chico Cool at the same time.•
Arika Dart: 1....2....3!! Panther Cool wins!
•at the same time.•
Steve Dart: Heart and Soul wins!
Arika Dart: Wait a minute who won?
•Dutch jumped off the announce table and did a hand stand cartwheel into the ring jumping around and celebrating the big win and his addition into the Tough Cookie Title Match at the next ppv.•
•Ring announcer Young Chance had a mic in his hand.•
Young Chance: Ladies and gentlemen..may I have your attention please? The referee counted both Southern Heart and Chico Cool's shoulders to the mat..therefore Dutch Desire has been added the match at the ppv!
Arika Dart: That big SKW Tough Cookie Title Match now becomes a 5 Way Dance!
Steve Dart: So now its Chico Cool defending against Panther, Demarcus Jones, Southern Heart and Dutch Desire?
Arika Dart: That's right!
Steve Dart: Right on. I'll drink to that!
•Dart has a beer opened and chugs his 6th of the night as the camera fades to a commercial.•
Arika Dart: We'll be right back!